Today is April 6th, a special day with special meaning for me. I believe in Christ and know that he lives. I want to be like him. I wish to share a recent experience that brought me closer to Christ with the idea that maybe it might be for some substance or meaning to you, even if you don’t believe in Christ.

A couple weeks ago I was in Indiana on business. The week went by quickly as almost every minute of every day and half the night was demanded of us. Late Thursday we were driving through South Bend on I-80 in route to Chicago to catch a red-eye out of O’Hare the next morning. We stopped for some refreshment at the fabled Taco Bell just off Michigan Avenue.

We were both aching for food as we hadn’t had time to eat anything since an early lunch, it was nearly midnight. Just minutes after we received our food, and having the window still rolled down, we were approached by a homeless man.

I have had some experience with the homeless—and I haven’t been as brotherly kind as I ought to have been. I have given of my substance and have left them wanting. I’ve struggled in the past to decide which is appropriate. Do they really need the money? Are they professional beggars? What will they do with the money? Are they really homeless? This one experience helped clarify my confusion. I will leave you to decide for yourself, given the impact, for whatever its worth, of this story.

When approached by homeless, I typically acknowledge their plight and move on without much more than a thought or two. Knowing the great effect eye contact has in creating persuasion, I would try and avoid eye contact altogether. If you look them in the eye, they can catch your attention just long enough to set into their spiel wherein they create an awkward sense of obligation that makes you offer a compensation of some sort. Those on the streets of New York are particularly keen at this.

In the parking lot of Taco Bell, we were approached by a homeless man we later came to know as Willy. He looked much more kempt than most and had a smile on his face. Willy was different, and we quickly came to know just how different he was. His attitude caught me off guard, and succeeded in catching my enough of my attention that I caught his eyes. I said “hi” to Willy with half a soft taco in my mouth—which action was signal enough to encourage him to start his employment.

The painful truth is that my first reaction was to roll my eyes, inwardly, and continue eating my food in front of him, almost as if I invalidated his very existence and didn’t have time to care.

All feeling and empathy in my heart fell head-long into a pile of shame; because for the next 20 minutes we listened to Willy deliver a supremely persuasive and deeply moving speech that could rival Lincoln’s second inaugural address. I ate my thoughts and my initial reaction for dinner and ended up giving him the rest of my soft taco aliment. I couldn’t imagine a more effectually efficient speech, and coming from such an unanticipated source no less. Being familiar with some principles of persuasion and having crafted persuasive speeches myself, I was absolutely dumbfounded at the impact his little ditty made on me. Both my partner and I were literally moved to tears.

He told his story of financial ruin and how anybody’s financial house of cards can be easily and unexpectedly blown to the ground with random gusts of unforeseen wind. He had family in Houston that was well off, but the shame of sharing his dire circumstance has kept him from contacting them. He’d been injured, laid off and now homeless in a matter of three short months… and he’s still injured because he can’t get proper care.

Willy was eloquent. He was real and grammatically correct—even politically correct. He was sincere and obviously educated. His dress was relatively clean and his teeth were white. He was a common stouthearted man fallen upon hard times and there was nothing typical about him.

As he finished, we tried desperately to hide our emotions. That was awkward as there was nowhere to hide them. We got out of the car, talked to Willy, shook his hand, and gave him encouragement along with every last scrap of the gourmet food we had extracted from Taco Bell. He gratefully accepted the food with an even more indebted-like Willy smile. We then took a few minutes and crossed the street to pull some money out of an ATM. By the time we had returned, he had eaten as much of the food as he was going to and saved the rest for his wife who was cooped up in a women’s shelter. We committed Willy to sweep the parking lot at a nearby church, just as he had done many times before for just $4. Our monetary gift was prepayment and deservedly more.

Ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.” (Mosiah 4:16)

Now, I may never know what truth or error was spoken in Willy’s speech or what his reality really was. I may never know if you actually swept that parking lot or not. And verily that’s not the point here. What I can know is that a needy man, who sought for understanding from a man who wouldn’t normally offer understanding, got it loud and clear. My once cold heart turned lukewarm. I understood Willy.

There may be fastidiously irrelevant ethics or politics involved in situations like these, but that’s not the point here either. We can be a little more understanding, a little more caring, a little more like Christ. I can give more than just my substance. I can give my understanding and my care, and “not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” (2 Cor. 9:7)

Willy is someone’s son, someone’s father, someone’s brother. But above all, he is a child of God, just like you and me. What can we cheerfully give?

Think upon that and interpret as you may.

Bling.

How would the outcome of the American Revolution have been affected had George Washington sulked, pouted, and licked his wounds after he and his army were ousted from New York City in one of the largest battles of the American Revolution—the Battle of Brooklyn? Hmm.. Instead, in hindsight, that battle became a turning point…

Though it was the Colony’s first encounter with a newly reinforced and refreshed opposition, Washington’s expectations were never sullied. And though he always demanded his troops’ best, he was not a perfectionist because he understood what his best was—having had extensive wartime experience—and how his best differed from the best of his troops.

At the same time, he did what most perfectionists can’t. He understood that what his novice army had to give may not be up to par with his own personal best. At New York in the fall of 1776, he knew his men had given their best. That is a victory. Their best amounted to a loss on paper, but a success over all. For many, they now had a starting point from which to measure their future successes and their future expectations. They knew what they were up against. They knew the competition.

What’s beautiful to the unperfectionist in this representation is that an untrained, makeshift army faced overwhelmingly stout odds with unfettered courage—without knowing what their best really was. They didn’t know their potential. Most men of the Revolution had never fought before, yet they fought and they fought with their lives. The loss at New York was a learning experience. The opposition had been reorganized and reinforced with over 12,000 trained, uniformed soldiers—no doubt an unsettling and fearsome sight to the untrained and largely un-uniformed glorified militia. This demanded that the revolutionists raise the bar… and they did.

This devastating loss could have crushed the revolution. The colonists had lost their New York City stronghold which was the heart of their operation. Washington lost over 5,000 men to death and imprisonment. He was chased from New York, through New Jersey, and across the Delaware with scant supplies, weary soldiers, and freezing temperatures. It was then that Thomas Paine wrote his most famous line “These are the times that try men’s souls.” Those are the times that demand one’s best.

Despite the loss, somehow, Washington succeeded in rallying his band to perform at such a high level that it would seem beyond their capacities. A stealthy Christmas Day crossing of the Delaware River into New Jersey overtook their opposition and regained lost ground by out maneuvering and overpowering an organized, uniformed opposition—albeit a host of 12,000 or more.

In essence, George Washington was able to incrementally increase his troops’ output by helping them realize their potential and understand what they were capable of giving, while maintaining their expectations. He encouraged and prodded his men to continue on, to not give up, to forge ahead, to give, to do what they could. That was their best.

Now Ask Yourself…

Ye all perfectionists… with this story on your mind try this perplexing thought on for size: What is your best? And pause to think…

Or perhaps try it this way: Did those who crossed the Delaware that awesome night know they were giving their best while they were giving it? How do you know you’re doing your best while doing it? What does your best look like? What does it feel like?

At the Battle of Brooklyn, a raw and biting loss, did the men that fought there give their best? How could they know… seeing how most had never fought before? How can you know your best if you’ve never “fought” before? How could they know that they were even capable of winning back their lost territory by forging a river in the middle of the night to fight an army four times the size of their own? The men at Brooklyn were willing to give their lives for a cause. For some, that’s all they had to give. They gave and kept giving. That was enough. That was their best.

Sometimes we perfectionists get caught up in measuring ourselves against others’ achievements whilst in the heat of the battle, per se. That hesitation and indecision will kill you dead in battle every time. So don’t even go there dude. You can’t know your best in the midst of battle, just fight.

Manage Your Expectation

This applied principle serves to show the brilliance of George Washington. He did not demand that his troops achieve results equal to what his own would have been had he fought at the front lines with the infantries. He understood incremental, yet steady progression. He did demand that each man give his best—whatever that best was it didn’t matter—and rely on God for resolution. He knew they were finally capable of a heroic retaliation.

Like with Washington’s men, whatever your best is, understand that your best is completely yours. Your best is not the best of someone else. Your best is not your neighbors. It’s not your bosses, or brother’s or sister’s, or pastor’s, or teacher’s, or evangelist’s, or so forth’s. Your best is not the best of Hollywood’s finest. Your best is not the captain of the football team’s best. Your best may not be the best of the valedictorian’s… it may be better. Your best is yours. And you are the only one that can dictate what your best is. Create your best and then recreate it.

That said, or written, sometimes in life it becomes our turn to courageously do things we’ve never done before—to expand the reaches of personal accomplishment to include higher and higher levels of difficulty and achievement. Still, at other times, we are left to claw, crawl, and slurp through harsher and harsher realities that make basic survival the end goal and focus. In these difficult or harsher times, as in most times, we can’t know what our best is in foresight because our best is most often found in uncharted territory—like the heretofore unheard of surreptitious Christmas day crossing of the Delaware. There are few things in life that we cannot try, try again to achieve increasingly better results as our best builds on our previous best.

Yet still, sometimes we can only give, or only do. Sometimes we can only survive, or just make it through. If you keep moving and doing and making it through, perhaps in hindsight you will realize that what you gave and what you did and the way you made it through, no matter the quantity of giving or the outcome, was in fact your very best. Then you can do what most perfectionists can’t and smile wide and long to yourself, knowing that you’ve given your best. Then next time, set your previous best as your expectation and work to beat that mark.

Know that whatever amount your best is, you can’t know it while staring it in the face. Accomplish first, as you may, and then look at what you’ve accomplished. That is your best today. Your best is not found in the accomplishing but in the post-satisfaction of accomplishment.

In a basketball game I scored 56 points. I had a triple double. Our team won the game. As the mini-celebration commenced afterwards, I went off by myself to sulk. What? Typical perfectionist behavior. To the congratulations that I was offered, I would respond, “Yeah, I can’t believe I missed that last shot though.” My thoughts were not upon jubilation and merriment. I found myself focusing on the open shot I missed in the closing seconds of the game as if that one miss deemed my entire performance a catastrophic failure. I could not see the overall success because I was focused entirely upon one small mishappenstance (my word). I was a perfectionist who was entirely unfamiliar with my best. Looking back, I couldn’t have played any better. That was my best and I couldn’t see it for what it was. Don’t be like that. That is so un-Washington-like and ridiculous.

Be steady, work hard, keep working, keep moving, and just make it through. Do that and you’ll find, like Washington’s brazened hosts, that the yesterday’s best makes the outlook of tomorrow’s best a happy thought that fosters anticipation, excitement, and content without the perfectionist’s paralyzing dread.

Bling.

The title of this post is a bit misleading. And maybe it’s the title itself that I want to soapbox about. How can anyone know what quarter of life they are currently in? Nobody knows when their life-clock will fall silent. Mine could malfunction and rupture itself beyond repair tomorrow afternoon or in 50 years. Only the Clockmaker knows.

If it is tomorrow, that would by default deem the first six years of my life as the necessary encasement of any applicable quarter-life crises. Luckily, I didn’t care for much more than He-Man underwear, soccer balls, and a naked Ken doll back then (Hey, my sisters wouldn’t let me play with them unless I had one).

What could have been my quarter-life crisis back then? It might have something to do with my dad’s literal use of “Labor Day” or Santa’s bad habit of favoring the other kids at Lea Hill Elementary and not me.

Yeah, if you didn’t watch the news last night, as of today, I’m every bit of 26 years, 3 months, and 6 days old. Okay, the news last night has nothing to do with it. Point is, I’m 26 and though I mentioned quarter-life crisis, I have no intention of actually living until I’m 105 years and 24 days old (though my Great Grandpa is nearly 102 and doing just fine). Crisis or not, linear timing really has nothing to do with the crisis itself does it?

That aside.. most “quarter-life crises” have to do with selecting a profession of permanence and value.

Why does anyone care what he or she wants to do with themselves? Does it matter aside from the basic free market principles of marketplace specialization and the “Invisible Hand” (Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nation economic stuff—yeah, I remember a bit from Econ 110)? What does it matter to you?

###Of course I have my own ideas and convictions but I’m really curious as to what you think###

Talk amongst yourselves.

Or, a much better alternative, if there’s any of y’all out there who would like to salt the tip jar a bit, post your comments below. Just click on the “Add a Comment” link at the bottom of the post or if there are already a number of comments click on “n Comments.” The page will reload a bit and a place for you to enter your comment or “Say Your Peace” as I like to put it, will make itself available.

Bling.

Blogging is beautiful.. and vaguely clinical. What else can give you an excuse to metaphorically examine your own axon terminals to be sure neurotransmitters are flowing correctly.. in your synapse, whatever. You can literally sit yourself down in your own shrink-like couch and self-quiz yourself quizzically.. to make sure that you are operating under ideal mental conditions and proper intellectual biases… I done it. (In case you ain’t notice, turns out I’m crazy… my readings are off the charts..) If learning to operate your life optimally is important to you, blogging may help you sort out your own thoughts and feelings so thoroughly that someone else, who may or may not know you, can make easy sense of them. Such was the case with my last post, which was one of those clinical blog posting experiences for me.

I wrote and published the post quickly and without thinking deeply about what the heck I had written. Something didn’t sit quite right with me. I went back and read it. Discovered what it was. Went looking for some answers. Found them from unexpected sources. After thinking and mulling all day, I came back and fixed my folly. I went through a poignant and progressive learning experience while writing this silly blog that only me, my mom, and Rusty reads.

And what I ended up with is a perfectly clear understanding, for which I am grateful. For umpteen billion years I’ve put undue pressure on myself to find what I love to do, what I’m passionate about, and found my life’s work upon whatever that passion turned out to be—and I would accept nothing short of that perfection. I had failed to even allow for the possibility that maybe my passions, or whatever I enjoy the most in life, are not solely employed in the marketplace.. that maybe I can pursue excellence in a menial career that I at least enjoy enough to pursue excellence in… and seek my life’s work and fulfillment elsewhere, outside of a humdrum career.. in more personally fulfilling environments.

Here it is straight (my aha moment): So what if a guy can’t find a job or career he enjoys? Tough two lips. Reality is that a dude has to provide for his family anyways. Therein lives his manhood, the fulfillment of a sacred calling and commandment from God. Regardless of whether or not he’s passionate about his career, more importantly, his career is the livelihood of his loved ones.

In utter amazement, I confess that this fleeting matter of flitting away life in search of the perfect, passion-filled career, turned out to be just this simple: If no passions at all can be found in the workplace, then find something that at least you do well and learn to enjoy it. Have a good attitude, buckle down, strap in, work hard, be steady, and make sure you give yourself time to pursue fulfillment in the form of healthy passions, whatever and wherever they turn out to be. If you find your life’s passion and fulfillment in your workplace, pin a rose on your nose. I’m just talking out loud here. Bling.

Last night I decided something that is very much proverbial and earth-shattering in my life. I now consider myself grown up. Yeah, I didn’t before. I really didn’t. For years I have maintained an underlying emotional attachment to school that affected my professional life (I’ve just now realized this) as if school was an emotional crutch or a “loser’s limp” that held me back. Now, with no strings… to hold me down to make me fret or make me frown (hmm.. where did that line come from? Oh. Pinocchio?), I get to float off into a world that is completely mine… for the first time… and it’s been nothing short of a beautiful mess. I like it.

I am now officially allowed to be a professional something—a semi-serious emphasis on the word “something” please. Whether I’ve got the professional green light or not, the identity of that “something” has been inextricably elusive, though at times quite clear (try making sense of that one).

I’ve long thought that life would be happy and full if that “something,” or career, is involved with, or contributes to, one’s passions and purpose in life. That would be ideal. So, naturally, I’ve sought for the ideal.

But therein lay a problem. If one’s passion can at all be found in one’s career, which there is no guarantee that it will, how does one who has the expectations to make such a discovery settle for something else… something more lucrative, flashy, or secure and steady… and live with it? Because one’s passions in life are difficult to uncover and make place for, most people don’t know what their passions are. Conversely, it seems that those who do know what their passions are, can’t seem to find contentment and they go gallivanting off in search of another passion when they get bored of the first. Most work a job they don’t enjoy, it’s true. I’ve done it. So what? What if my passions in life have nothing to do with making money? What then? Am I doomed to a miserable life of slavery? Hmm.. Interesting thought.

Which brings a question to the forefront, if we get along relatively well without finding our passion in life, what use is it to know your passion and, if possible, form a life’s work around it? Does your passion and career have to be one in the same? Or can they differ and still provide meaningful fulfillment? Decide for yourself.

What is my passion? Where is my purpose? I’m lucky to have a glimpse at least, but even with that glimpse, at times I’ve cared too much that the potential material gains that await me for pursuing my passions and purpose are somewhat lacking… so I get bored and go off looking for greener things… and have yet to find fulfillment in doing so. I’ve learned my folly. Hmmm… thinking out loud, it’s easy to see that the lack of fulfillment can be attributed to the unmet expectation, likely a false expectation, that my career must be one in the same with my passion and purpose.

What you can learn from kids about your life’s work: Since I was a kid I’ve been asked the same simple question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I’m still asked that simple question and I still don’t quite know how to simply answer it—even though now is the time for me to be whatever it was I wanted to be when I looked forward to growing up (The doctor says I’m done growing).

Children are smart. That simple question is repeated again and again to even the smallest of children and they answer without hesitancy. They’ve made up their minds and are content with their future livelihoods as super heroes or whatnot. A five year old has no concept of livelihood and yet he answers so assuredly “I wanna be a fireman!” He has no idea that in some states the members of the fire department are all volunteers—an unpaid position. Curious. A child cares not for the material, he follows his heart to find his “passion” through other means than that of monetary nature.

My story is interesting. I’ve learned a lot from most of it and am still trying to sort out and learn from the rest of it… as it continues on shifting and shaping into what is known as my life. Recently, my resolutions to be successful have taken on new meaning for me. I want to make a difference in the world in the way that I was born to make a difference, sure. My passions and purpose are to that end, but not necessarily intertwined with a specific career path. I can be content with that. One brilliant man whom I admire said, “It is better to be steady than to be brilliant.” Chose a career, work hard, and be steady. Manifest your brilliance by following whatever passions uncover themselves along your pathway of life. In a sense, I’ve come full circle and have learned for myself the wisdom in that simple answer of a simple child, “I wanna be a fireman.”

I just found this great article by someone who knows what he’s talking about. Paul Graham writes about How to do What You Love. Earth shattering news: You don’t have be doing what you love to have fulfillment in life. Work hard at whatever you do, be consistent, and find your passion and fulfillment wherever you can find them. Penelope Trunk, (I have no idea who she is), writes another appropriate post Bad Career Advice: Do What You Love. And there’s a great discussion about finding your passion in life and doing what you love at GetRichSlowly.com. He quotes the same Paul Graham essay. Bling.

Un-ubiquitous is the 7-ness of the last two posts… 7 is a perfect number and I personally think it is pretty…

I have a few favorite blogs. One of them is www.zenhabits.net. Yup. I don’t even know what “zen” refers to in this context but even so, his stuff is flat-out blingin’ awesome. A simple guy writing simple things (from Guam no less) to improve our simple lives. He’s got more than 28,000 readers… Wow. Hmm. That brings into sharp relief the simple nature of my humble blogger begggginings. I think I boast the huge count of two readers at the moment… me, yeah I read my own stuff sometimes, and my mother. (Always my number one fan! Thanks momma!).

Last week Leo wrote a powerful post on zenhabits.net that echoed my own sentiments about goal setting for 2008. Goal setting is powerful and moving, yet basic and rudimentary. He gives some sage advice about how to make 2008 your best year ever.

Here’s the link to head on over and read his stuff.

7 Essential Tips to Make 2008 Your Best Year EVER

If you like it, sign up for his RSS feed, you won’t be disappointed.

A blog post about goals around New Year’s is definitely cliché. Millions of people are thinking about goals and thousands of those millions have blogs wherein they post their thinkings. So what is different about this post and why should you read it?

One, I’m not a professional. I’m someone who has struggled to put together an effective system for goal setting and, after failing over and over again, have finally found something that works for me. Two, the way I set my goals is probably different than most you’ve heard, though I haven’t cared to compare my system with anyone else’s. I don’t know if my process is entirely unique but whether or not it’s an amalgam of other systems matters not to me because it works. In short, I don’t know to whom do I owe the credit for coming up with this system. Keep fresh in your mind that this is goal setting as it applies to me and you’re free to interpret—add and take as you may. I truly hope this helps you achieve your goals this year, even so, results may vary.

The Perfectionist’s Common Experience with Goal Setting

My personality is one that demands excellence, precision, and perfection from myself—an impossible amount of perfection. That trait is a double edged sword. It’s like walking on the blade of a razor; it’s a long way down on both sides if you mess up. This perfectionist tendency works against you when setting goals. We perfectionists want to accomplish so many things all at once because our faults and failings are glaringly obvious to us. We know exactly what’s “wrong” with us and what needs to be “fixed.” At the New Year we set a laundry list of goals and are excited to finally be perfect this year.

Typically my experience as a perfectionist at New Year’s has been this: Day one ends with flying colors. Come day two, I mess up on item 17 on my laundry list of goals. The day progresses and the cognitive dissonance is suffocating. I become profoundly frustrated. The perfectionist emotions are overwhelming and my mind spins off into blah blah or la la land. Day three, I don’t care about anything or anyone anymore because I failed. The following 362 days are mediocre at best and filled with the constant itching to be perfect.

What happened? My ambitions outweighed my reality, resolve, and resources. We perfectionists have to plan ahead to avoid these massive downers after miniscule failures. The good thing is that we are always filled with an incredible amount of emotion to be better and do better. At least we start! Some don’t get that far. We should congratulate ourselves for both the desire to progress and actually starting down the path.

Goal Setting for the Perfectionist

This is where it gets personal. I understand my personal ambitions and have learned to channel them. To plan and set my goals I will always find a quiet, peaceful, emotionally safe place (not in front of a TV with ESPN on or at a family gathering) and I’ll carry along a journal or notebook to write in.

Step 1. I start with a simple prayer. You can’t pray too much. I feel that’s the best way to prepare me emotionally to clear my mind, feel at peace and get the inspiration I need. You can pray however you feel appropriate. I pray the way I was taught. (If you aren’t religious, that’s okay. Just find a quiet place and spend a good amount of time thinking, meditating, or pondering about what you want to accomplish in life generally and I believe you can have the same results).

Step 2. Think… Ponder… Brainstorm a lot. (Make sure you have scheduled a good deal of time for this. It can take anywhere from 10 minutes to several hours). Fill your notebook with anything and everything that comes to mind: all your faults that you want fixed; your ambitions and visions for life; the things you want; potential rewards for success, etc. Write until you absolutely can’t think of anything else you desire and your mind falls silent. Get it all out. This is critical to the perfectionist psyche. Get it all out.

Step 3. Categorize your list. These categories are open for your interpretation as you see fit. Keep in mind while categorizing your list that we set goals to ultimately improve and progress as human beings not to please demanding spouses or bosses or coworkers or parents or friends. Your goals need to mean something to you if you are to achieve lasting change and progress. As long as your goal means something to you, a difference will be made in your life and inevitably the lives of others around you. You will feel fulfilled, joyful and happy.

Here are the five categories that I use:

• What will make the biggest difference in my life AND is important to me?
• What will make a big difference in my life but is NOT important to me?
• What is important to me but will NOT make a big difference in my life?
• What would be nice for me, but just doesn’t matter?
• What is completely self-critical, unimportant, or expectations of others and not your own.

After you have categorized your list, Category 1 will innately become more important to you because as perfectionists we naturally want perfection and fast. Why is this step so important? Benefit from step 3: your mind is now settled on what’s important. This makes it easy to let go of the stuff that just doesn’t matter. Your laundry list will go from an inordinante amount of items down to just a few. [If you are an extreme perfectionist and really need to let go of some things write category 1 on a new piece of paper and burn or shred (destroy) the other pages. I’ve had to do this and it’s amazing. Adult supervision strongly encouraged ].

Step 4. Determine which of the items on your list in Category 1 (items that will make the biggest difference in your life AND are important to you) you want to accomplish first. This is where you can involve urgency. Which is most important? Critical? Is there a time frame or due date? Which will be most fulfilling to me or will have the greatest affect on others? Rank the items according to your perception about how important or urgent they are.

Step 5. Select the TOP GOAL. Circle it. Underline it. Draw flowers around it. Whatever. Mentally accept, select, and resolve to do the first goal on your list. This step makes achievement simple. In doing this you need to tell yourself that the items left on the list will be accomplished next so that your perfectionist mind is appeased. You may blow through this goal in a few weeks and you’ll move rapidly on to the next one. You’ll be surprised at how many goals you can accomplish in a year if you tackle them one at a time. Even two goals can be overwhelming. Keep it simple. Keep it powerful.

Step 6. Set a plan to accomplish item ONE. (In my mind, item 1 of category 1 is my goal and this is my plan to accomplish my goal). This is where you’ll need to draw from your own interpretations of traditional goal setting techniques, but there are common guidelines of course. The SMART acronym applies here. Your plan needs to be:

S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Timed

Stretch yourself (use your ambitious tendencies), but make sure that your plan is realistic and achievable. You do not want to set too lofty or ambitious of a plan. Doing so will only end in a burned out mind, body, and soul. It’s important to set time intervals: daily, weekly, monthly, how long? Due dates? Rewards? And be specific! Know exactly what you need to do and how you are going to do it and how long you have to do it. This plan can be simple but it needs to lead you down a path where the environment, mental and physical, will aid you in accomplishing your end goal.

Step 7. Affirmations. This may sound fruity, but I promise you this works for perfectionists. ACCEPT THE END GOAL AS PART OF WHO YOU ARE and remind yourself everyday, several times a day, about your new self. This will give you an incredible amount of motivation and resolve to follow through with your plan.

A Simple Example From My Life

I apologize for using myself as an example, forgive me. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to keep a daily journal of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I didn’t want to be the once a week on Sunday type of guy. But for years I failed over and over and it baffled me. I would write for a week or two weeks straight and then I’d miss one day and wouldn’t pick up my journal till months later. This bothered me. How could I develop the habit?

Last July 15th, I sat down to do one of these exact planning sessions. I called this my D-Day, or Decision Day. I knew exactly what I wanted to do so it didn’t take me long. I settled on journal writing as the item that would make the biggest difference and that was the most important to me at that time. I set the obvious plan of writing in my journal every single day before I retired for the night. But what I did differently this time was to add the affirmations of step seven… and that has made all the difference.

Previously, when I had made “bold” efforts at developing a journaling habit I didn’t really believe that I was a journaler or feel like one. The result is that each night I was forced to make an official decision as to whether or not I was going to write. I had the capacity and the resolve to make that decision for only a few days in a row until one day I was too tired and decided to write the next morning… three months later I pick up my journal to write that entry. That’s not good enough for a perfectionist.

This time was different. I set my goal and made these affirmations: “Seth Ellsworth writes in his journal every day. Seth Ellsworth is an avid journal writer.” I said it over and over again until I really believed it and repeated it for several days thereafter. Result: on that D-Day I made my decision and I haven’t had to make that decision again. Journaling isn’t a big deal now because it’s part of who I am and what I do. Best part: I’ve been able to maintain journaling while focusing on other important goals and benchmarks. Make the decision once and then just be who you are and your goal becomes a piece of cake because it’s no longer a big deal.

A word of caution: Don’t kill yourself if you misstep, but be quick to forgive yourself and maintain who you are. It’s okay to adjust your goals too. Just reaffirm. It’s critical that your goal, in this case, be achievable and something that you’ll want to maintain. Be sure not to set end goals that are highly dependant on the decisions and choices of others. There are lots of ways you can personalize this. Use your judgment. Some end goals are a one-time achievement. This process will work just the same. If you need extra help to be consistent, I’d suggest going down to the store to get a poster calendar that shows all of 2008. Cross off each day as you go along and the motivation to keep the streak alive will be powerful if the goal really means something to you.

Be careful about what you accept as part of who you are. Only focus on one goal at a time. You can accomplish many goals in a calendar year. Follow these steps and you’ll surprise yourself at what a perfectionist can accomplish! Be cool.

Here we are at the end of another year staring the next one right between its eyeballs. The grand finale to 2007 is tomorrow and the day of great awakening thereafter. To some, the thought of facing a new year stirs a desperate optimism.. “A new year? I can’t bear to go through another year like this last one. Something’s gotta change!” To others, ringing in the New Year generates a raw excitement. Last year was beautiful and kind and this year will certainly be better, once the weather warms up (it’s freezing in Utah).

At this emotional time of year, both extremes, desperation and excitement and every emotion in between, have one common trait… a veritable hope for something brighter and better this year. Given the title of this entry, you can probably guess the subject matter…

What would a New Year be without New Year’s Resolutions?

Hmm… Well, if this last year’s accomplishments are any indication, or those of the dozen previous years, resolutions just aren’t working for me, or most of society. I can tell you one thing; a new year with resolutions would be all too familiar wouldn’t it? We want change; different, brighter, better, right? Good.

This fastidious time of year when we all put on our optimistic hats often includes the public sharing of one’s resolutions: lose 10 lbs, gain 20 lbs, get out of debt, get up early, run, make more money, a meaningful relationship, eat well, frequent volunteer service, etc. We’ve all heard each of these at least once.. (at least ONCE a year). 99 times out of 100, though we really want change, our resolutions are quickly forgotten on New Year’s Day and never spoken of again.

Too often we’re caught off guard on New Year’s Eve when we’re put on the spot to share our resolutions (which everyone assumes we have made a genuine effort to create some). Instead, we summon some fleeting resolution from our foggy mind and forget it the next second. In the morning on New Year’s Day we roll out of bed at the crack of noon and are already behind in accomplishing our resolves. We get discouraged and give up on the first flippin’ day… that’s only if you came up with a resolution important enough to remember the next morning. Not a good way to ring in the New Year and foster meaningful change when change is what we really want.

“New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.”
—Mark Twain

All too often Mr. Twain is proven genius with this pithy statement. New Year’s has truthfully been a harmless institution full of humbug resolutions. But will it continue to be so in your life or mine? For me, I confess, it’s continued long enough and it stops right here on this spot —> ^.

This post serves as motivation for me to make this year’s goals more than just mere resolutions. Anyone can resolve to do anything and not progress one inch toward achievement in the process. It’s not enough just to resolve.

How about this year we don’t just resolve but actually do. Nike.. just do it. Make changes by planning and implementing that plan. How do you make a plan? Stay tuned.

Morale of the story: Don’t let this New Year be a new start for your old habits. Resolve to do more than resolve and then do what’s more.